hikayat 208 - Istilah Sebenar

Kau kata kau cinta
Kau kata kau sayang
Kini entah di mana
Tiada lagi kemesraan

Kau kata setia
Hanya aku saja
Tapi hilang ke mana
Tiada lagi kenangan

Ku tabahkan hati
Ku genggam azimat
Untuk ku balut luka semakin mendalam
Biarku hadapi walaupun tergugat
Akan ku benamkan biar jadi debu

Kini ku mengerti
Istilah sebenar
Di dalam bercinta
Tiada kepastian
Tiada penentuan
Akan kebahagiaan
Semua percintaan
Haruslah berkorban
Tiada batasan

Ramli Sarip - Istilah Bercinta

eh..dah kenapa suke lagu ni pulak?? err...actually this song is bit anthem likewise lagu2 yang lain yang aku dengar,but this is malay version like sometime,we do feel so damn down under and the song that we hear bole jadik buat kita gembira,sedih..i am normal. so i cried. its normal because i am a human. do you..??

*taktau nak gambarkan macam mane perasaan.tak kesah la orang nak cakap ape,tapi ape yang kita lalui,tak pernah sape pun tau dan faham.tak pernah dan tak akan ade yang faham.biar aku hadapi,walaupun tergugat....

regards,

kakuna

hikayat 199 - Andai Dapat Ku Undur Masa..

Tapi memang mustahil. Sebab waktu yang aku nak ulang tu adalah waktu aku kecik-kecik dulu. Di kampung halaman, dengan mak dan ayah. Aku bebas nak buat ape je. Sebab mak dan ayah ade kat rumah. Tak macam kat sini. Aku rase rebel. Sangat rebel sampai kadang-kadang aku menjerit sorang-sorang. Sangat rebel yang buat semua benda tak kena.

Ok. Ni bukan nak cerita sangat pasal zaman kanak-kanak ribena dulu. Zaman tu dah lama berlalu. And today, I am officially 26 years old. Look back. I dont have nothing. I dont have house as my property. I dont have car as my transportation. I dont even have a motorcycle infact. And i dont have nothing. Because everybody talk about what they have. Me? And alhamdulillah I still have my family. My dad, my mum, my siblings and my hectic friends also!

Im 26 but that was just a number,for a matter of fact! So much more to go..

And not to forgot, my En. Sahlan. He's the supporter. Err, supporter di sini bermaksud penyumbang. And, we were counting our days. Insyaallah..

And what make me sad than ever, it still a 'biasa-biasa' birthday celebration. T__T. And its pathetic like hell! But still there's a lot of people posting and wishing happy birthday for me,trillion thank you to you guys facebookers friends! tapi aku sentap. Sentap sangat.

Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR ME KUNA a.k.a AIN. May Allah bless me and success are all on my way afterwards..

regards.

Kakuna

hikayat 196 - Wordless + Speechless. T__T

Aku paling takut kene TIPU.

Pastu bila diri rasa tertipu rasa macam nak lari jauh-jauh sebab terkenangkan kebodohan diri.

Cukuplah.

Tak nak cakap banyak-banyak sebab sedih.

T___T

regards,

kakuna

hikayat 175 - TAKUT!

AKU PALING TAKOT KENE TIPU...!

Sebab, hakikat nye, untuk menerima sebuah penipuan tu sangat sakit! Penah rasa tak macam mana dada korang sebak,sesebakkkknye..??

Macam ade menatang ALIEN yang dok dalam ni nak keluar dan dan tu jugakk..?

Macam grenade yang anytime je bole kababoommmm..???

Rasa macam tumbok dada kuat-kuat pun tak rase ape dah...??

Then....End up dengan tangisan yang sangat memilukan...

SAKIT SANGAT….!!

Tapi aku tau aku harus bersedia.. Sooner or later, Anytime and now... TAPI TU YANG AKU PALING TAKOT.... ~__~

regards,

Kakuna

hikayat 146 - Sekian lama...

Instead of duduk saje-saje,baru teringat kat blog ni. Dah lame tinggal macam terus takde ape-ape. Ntah,bile tengok orang lain happy,aku pun nak happy. Bile tengok orang lain berjaya,aku pun nak berjaya,bila tengok orang lain sedih,aku macam dapat rasa ape yang diorang lalui.

Pathethic.

That's the word that suit me well. I knew that.

Good bye happy day ~

Good bye lover ~

And good day may comes,as i wish.

Saya sangat jeles skang ni...~!!!

Sebab saya rasa macam saya tak dapat ape yang orang lain dapat.... ;(

regards,

kakuna

hikayat 145 - I Know That I Have To...

Forget all those things,happened behind, indeed.. I know i have to move on with my life instead of mourning remembering what had just happened past. I know i have to be strong and strugle to make my day as cheerful as i used to be, indeed. And i know i have to be Me, the real me which i was left behind the develish day. I know i have to..

But those peoples who are'nt in my shoes,i said please.. Dont act like you're sort of ms~caring~fu****g~understand what i've faced and trying to solve it like its your fucking problem. Hey, mind your own man. Dont think that you're in 'comfy zone' whereas your boy are flirting around like you used to his b***h. Oh,soryy..my mistake~!

And oh,i dont mind peoples business. I mind my own business..;). Hush.~~? (~_<)



note : its hard to explain. its hurt in every words.




regards,
kakuna

Hikayat 144 - * Selamat Berpuasa~

"Selamat Menyambut Bulan Ramadhan Al-Mubarak". Semoga mendapat keberkatan di bulan yang mulia ini. Lipatgandakan ibadah secara luar biasa..;)





p/s: Pesanan ringkas lg padat. Sbb dah lame tak apdet. Hati masih lg tak berapa nak tenang, Jiwa kosong. ;)



note : 11 Ogos 2010 ; pastinya berbeza sama sekali dengan 11 Ogos 2009. ;(. Itu adalah kenangan sampai mati~!






regards,
kakuna

hikayat 143 - Alah..Berdalih Pulak Beliau..

Semalam...

27 Julai 2010

hari ni masuk kerja dengan perasaan yang libang libu bak kata pepatah. ape yang libang,ape yang libu pun tak tau lah. tak tau nak start keje mane satu dulu. baeklah,buat filing dulu,pastu wat surat ni,then wat data entry bla bla bla [bajet banyak keje je].....

***

Eh,dah pukul-anjing-sampai-mati..Dah pukul 12.30. tak sedar masa berlalu. yelah,buat-buat bz memang la konon. padahal banyak selak-selak kertas je. baeklah,nak tanye member mereka out tak lunch ni.

***

kecewa. sebab diorang tak kuar. so, dial la 1-300- McDelivery. Pehh..lunch dengan McD. baru la Amerika~! bongops~! tak sedar banyak kalori nih.

***

Dah petang. Balik lah...

***

Tipikal nye keje aku. Setiap hari ni la yang aku hadap. Borimm..?? Memang pun~! Boleh tahan jugak mainan kehidupan..~!

Tapi hari ni kan,kamu datang dan explain segala bagai kat aku. Aku..? Ade aku kesah..? Nope~! Sebab hati ni dah tawar. untuk kamu yang lagi sorang, heh..~ you got served lahh..Permata depan mata,kamu pilih yang kaca dah nak retak buat ape. kan..? So not that gentleman lahh....~~!! pfftt...

regards,
kakuna

hikayat 137 - Te Amo...~*

Salam and howdy to all bloggers,



Saje nak buat entry sedih sikit. Te Amo. Sape tau maksud perkataan tu sila angkat ibu jari kaki. Miahaha.. Kalau ade yang tau baguslah. Kalau takde,maksud nya dalam bahasa omputeh,i lap u. Kalo melayu nye saya cinta awak. Alih bahasa Mandarin Wo ai ni. Tamil pulak..Err,tak sempat belajar lagi..

Cakap pasal cinta ni, musti sume orang boleh bajet,musti pasal kapel. Lelaki dan perempuan,oww sudah semestinya. Kalau cakap-cakap orang baik-baik, luaskan lagi maksud CINTA tu. Kepada sapekah,untuk tujuan apekah,kenapekah,dan lain lain lagi la. Jangan macam-macam,kang aku pangkah!

Bagi aku. CINTA tu kalau naif nye,hanya pada yang Maha Esa. Betol. Jahilnya, aku masih lagi mencari cinta tu. Dalam erti kata lain, untuk meluaskan lagi maksud cinta tu belom pun sampai yang terAgung. Tapi,bila terjerat di antara Suka,Sayang,Rindu maka terbit lah Cinta.

Di sini la aku terjerat. Dari rasa suka, pergi ke sayang. Pastu rindu pulak. Bila nak terbit cinta,aku kene kawal pulak perasaan tu. Kenapa? Kerana tiada sebab untuk aku meneruskan sume tu. Dan perkataan yang paling tepatnye adalah MUSTAHIL..dan Dia lebih tahu.

Sape kate jadi manusia ni senang..? Ingat free-free ke Allah s.w.t bagi nyawa kat dunia ni..? Pinjam je. Takde interest pun,tapi boleh tambah dividen. Tak gitu..?

Aku? Ye,ingin mencari Cinta abadi. Dan akan berusaha ke arah itu...Insyaallah..






regards,
kakuna

hikayat 121 - Damn!! It Was Pathetic...Looser!

Huargghhhh....! Yawning...

Untuk kali ke berapa tak tau.. Tapi,aku sangat mengantok lagi hari ni. Cuaca dan suhu yang panas,membataskan waktu tidur. I'd rather stay and my eyes seems hardly close. And now, my eyes are hardly open!!


For how many times i dont know, I think im being a pathetic looser. It was such a looser. And the story began. This morning, 3 in the morning when i grab my phone ringing for couple of times. I looked at the caller name and i was like ".. Am I dreaming or something..??". I picked up the call. And,the rest was a history...


Damn! For the past half years,i've been through these shit alone, again and again. The more i wanted to forget, the closer He get. And now, he asking for my loyalty and my so-called-forever-in-love-assemble. Im tired to think. Im sick of it!

And the next hour, texting to my BFF, Cik Oyah. All is out and clear. I could'nt even cry. But i felt so damn hurt,inside. Deep in my heart. "..Dont be such a cry baby,you'll learn it someday..". I heard a voice rambles on around my head."..Yeah, indeed..". I said. And for the next 3 hours, i could'nt even close my eyes. It was develish. And Cik Oyah was right,at time. She always be my angle. She think a lot as much as I am. She want the best for her BFF,ie; ME in the future.


Hmm..Seems like, I need a lotsa time onwards. Tak tahu ape yang bakal berlaku, tapi for the good things coming, let it all be the good things. For the sake of my future then.


And the rest was a history. Enough said.







regards,
kakuna

hikayat 110 - Back To Ol' Lame Path...

Howdy guys...

I meant here.. How you guys going..? Owwcay... Sekian lama menyepi kan? Seronok ke begitu..? Not at all..

I said here.. I did'nt get my miracle yet, to bring me back. But, i did get my messy on and on again. [sigh]... Far too long, and its getting hurt again and again..

But as i said once upon a time, i did my blogwalking and leaving footprints as i cant take my finger without typing a single comment.. That will do,huh..?

A lotsa thing came up... I really mean it.. And yet, that's bothering me like hell! But that was life though... The best therapy..?? Well, you know better guys..

Back to ol' lame path...I mean, my path.. Being simple and yet complicated!!

Heydey, enough said...






regards,
kakuna

hikayat 100 - The 100th HIkayat - Off The Record And Let Me Go..!!!

Today is my last day for going to work..For the year 2009 la...Giler!! Ingat aku nak benti keje ke wei..? CAne aku nak beli make up kalau tak keje...Hahaha...2009,akan melabuhkan tirai nya.. Go..Away just like that,just like it was yesterday...

I put a lil' line which what was happened over the years.. Which i manage to remember.. Me,myself think that this year brings me lotsa experience,whether good or bad, either its sweet or hurting me. The big Y was just just past and I ain't never gonna face it again,no more..

The year that im counting my day, but the day that im waiting for were never come.. At last, i realized that the curcumstances occured by a reason. And it was spectacular...!! Woww..! Dangg.! This is how my life was on 2009 then..

So yesterday,

The moment I've grab my scroll and finished my study. And i misses my batch [hint to all OM114 student, UiTM Jengka, Pahang!] Damn muchhh..!!

I remember how I walked alone early in a morning,untuk daftar sebagai seorang pekerja baru berStatus "Secretary".

I walked into my so~called~office that i never know what will happen next to me for 2 years onwards.

I shaked hand with my~ex~bos now,telling her that im in all new into this line,so please teach me so i could learn.

And oww,i saw my enviroment around me and i was like "..Envy me,im new! And im single! And you,you and you please dont look down at me,i'll grab my chance follow the flow and walahh! Here i am.."

Until today, im not Somebody.[yet..!] Im just being me.I still stood,being me,in this line,and i felt like "..God has blessed me well for the past 2 years! All i got,and all i have had was the best ever for the past 24 years backwards.."

Like it was yesterday,

"..Hey,You've ruined my life,bitch!..". And until today it was the develish part of my life..!

I've lost my L words a.k.a L.O.v.E a week before my 24th birthday and it was the biggest present i've ever had!

Oww,like i loveeeee the pleaseant suprised you'd gave to me darl, and i'll make you suffer for all of you life off being GUILTY..!

I wasted my 2years of loving him without knowing that he's cheating on me ALIVE then..*sigh*..What a life....~

And, I know you'd suffer enough now...! Serve you right!! Full stop,..;p

Aku tidak berdendam,dan biarlah semua tu menjadi kenangan,cuma aku menitipkan rasa yang aku pendam selama ini.

Even im if im appologizing him that would'nt make things clear and im not TOTALLY FORGET about that!

And i know, Things that happened,was just happened..I live my live now,to the fullest..!!

And it is Today and tomorrow onwards,

My wish list for New Year Coming..

No more broken dreams. No more tears for such stuffy thingy. No more heartbroken.

And i will make my sky always blue and bare to face the gloom..!!

Ain't afraid no more...

Thats the story..

Of 2009..

Good Day

Enough Said.

And the rest was a history..

gOOd bye 2009...!

Hell~Ow 2010....

yada ~ yada..~

Kakuna : I know im not that good of writing. Anyway,Happy New Year ya'all..!! Those yang bercuti kamis ni,jom kita berjimba..Muahahahaha....

hikayat 80 - Its Raining Day..

Its raining today.. Same as may heart and soul...Im in bloom....

Somebody, grab my hand and take me away...









Cik Kuna Kunang : Im standing still...

hikayat 68 - Its All Happened Again..! Damn Its Hurt...!! Ouch..

Sapesape buleh tolong aku.. Aku tengah pening + boring + tensen + bengang + gilervavi + bodow2 alang + bengap sket2 = bingai nak buat presentation ICC ni.. Nak kene buat schedule lah, bar chart lah, scratter chart lah, data entry lah,.. And, Tulang Ikan lah....Adoyaiii.......


Aku nak upah la sapesape... Boring aku tengok natang ni harihari.. Nak muntah kuning + biru..Dah jadi hijau lumut dah muntah aku....


Oww,tajok tiada kene mengena dengan entry..?? Hey, who said that..? Hell yeah its relate..! Sebab mesej dari beliau a.k.a Chocolate Man ni la buat aku tak tentu hala dah.. Keje pun takleh nak fokus. Mengalahkan orang nak beranak..! Cilake betol perasaan macam ni.. Aku dah bagi amaran dah kat hati ni, Jangan Ade Perasaan macam tu lagi...



Lalu, dengan lafaz bismillah.... [bukan lafaz cerai oke..demm!] aku rasa nak meRebel lagi... Ahahahahahhaha....... Best dowh...!! I tell you that..!! Sebelah kaki dah dekat neraka, sebelah lagi tergantung gantung menunggu jatuh je...! Setannn....!!!










Cik Kuna Kunang : Should or Should'nt i take it as "..nah, nothing happened...biase2 je.."... Miahahahah...

hikayat 65 - Entri Saya...

Hari ini, pergi keje macam biase je. Tapi masuk lambat sebab saya bangun lambat. Oke, tipu. Sebab saya pegi bayar bil umah kat bawah blok tu. Ahahah.. Ade orang cakap saya amik kesempatan sebab bos tade. Hepp,,biase die..! Kalau bos ade pun saya masuk lambat ape...? Lagi macam setan kan..?? Ngee..


Hari ni Ade berbicara dengan En. Malik. Tapi kan, tetiba saya di rundung mendung.. Memang tengah mendung taim ni. Tetiba nak sebak. Ape kes ko ni Ain..?? Tebiat agaknye..?? Tak la, saya cakap dengan En.Malik, jangan mengingatkan saya kepada beliau. Saya mau beliau mati dalam hati saya. Sampai bilabila. Walaupun mungkin banyak masa yang akan di ambil, takpe..Saya redha..Sebab saya nak beliau betulbetul MATI..!

**Mati di sini bukan bermaksud saya akan go kill,kill, die , die beliau oke.tapi kalau la saya buleh lakukannya..hahahaah**

En. Malik cakap "..Im sorry..". Pastu saya cakap "..Naik lori...!!.." Muahahhaah... Dan ape yang saya pinta, tolong lah jangan ada perasaan ITU kepada beliau a.k.a En. Malik.Saya akan setel sendiri. Saya ni agak rebel kadangkadang tu...

Sekarang, kawankawan saya tahu saya sedang bermain dengan API..!! Owh No, bak kata adik saya...! Pengakuan berani mati dari saya a.k.a Cik Kakuna. Kepada merekamereka yang suka main api, ajak la saya.. Saya suka main masakmasak.. ! Mungkin buleh ajak Timah @ Pucek [belog beliau ada di atas.. ahahaha..] sebab Timah pun suka masakmasak. Sekarang air liur saya meleleh terkenangkan mee goreng beliau... Ngaaa.......

Saya tengah rindukan adikadik saya tu...Sebab mereka banyak hutang dengan saya..! Miahahhahaha......Nasib kamu dapat kakak yang gaya de'Vil macam gini..Hehehehe.....

[Mukamuka Penghutang..! Ahahahaah...=p...]

note : penggunaan kata ganti diri SAYA bermaksud di sini saya sedang dalam kebingungan dengan identiti saya sendiri..Ahahahaha....

Cik Kuna Kunang : Mau balik kampung. Mau pergi interview. Mau pergi bercuti. Saya rasa macam di permainkan... Owh No...!!

hikayat 35 - Hari Yang Tiada ApaApa...

Im just wondering why is it..Why,my days starting from Tuesday till today, i still feel EMPTY.. Ko-Song.. Kenape entah. Apekah..? Ke sebab lama sangat dok kat kampung..? Atau aku je yang melebihlebih kan~Meng adeade kan ..?

Datang keje pun macam takde hati. Harihari saya masuk lambat [8 - 8.30 am..consider lambat ke..?? ] Harihari bos saya kene bukak pintu sendiri. Harihari saya rasa bosan begini. [saya harap minggu ni je la ..] . Harihari saya tengok blog dan email ja. Harihari saya sunyi.. Wooo..Wooo..

"..Cik oyah,aku rase sunyi la..Tak tau nak buat ape ni.. Boring jugak. Nak terbang rasenye.." Suatu ketika menghantar pesanan kepada Cik Oyah.

"..Nape? Ko datang la umah aku. Leh borakborak.." Beliau membalas.

"..Emm,insyaallah,papehal aku bagitau ye.." Aku tidak berjanji. Sebab aku tahu,hati aku masih di

SINI

***********************************************************

"..Mak,orang balik malam jumaat ni eh.."

"..OO,pukul berapa..? "

"..Alah,macam biase la, bas pukul 9..Hik Hik.."

"..Emm,pukul 1 pagi la tu baru sampai. Yelah,kang apeape hal telepon semula.."

"..Oke mak. Kirim salam semua eh.."

Cik Kuna Kunang : Ya...Aku lebih tenang di sana....

hikayat 34 - BiLa TerAsA..

Baru TeriNgat....
TerasA mAcam...
mAcam....
MacaM kali Ni...
SyAwaL yang SangaT Lain...
SyaWaL Yang SangAt BeruBah...
SyaWaL yanG JauH BedA...
SyaWaL yanG bukAn LagI berSama Dia & sEsuAtu...
IanYa sAngAt Lain..
SanGat Lain...









Cik Kuna Kunang : Ianya mengambil masa seminggu untuk aku luahkan ini kepada Cik Oyah..:(...At last.....

And, The End Of The Hikayat.....

***********************************************



I look like so damn pathetic..
I look like so damn pale..
I look like so damn ugly..
I look like so damn horrible..
I look like so damn develish..


**********************************************

"...pasti suatu masa kita akan peroleh bahgia, janji kita ikhlas, balasan nya pon indah.." [Cik Mawar Sejati Tapi Berduri]

"..dekatkan diri ngn tuhan, smentara masih ade peluang, insyallah. Pape pn.. yg jdi pd kita sume kehendak Allah.." [Cik Oyah]

"..Tuhan tak pernah mungkir janji, Tuhan masih sayangkan kau.." [Cu Anne]


"..Ade hikmah di sebalik sume ni berlaku. Tabahkan hati,aku tau kau kuat..!.." [Luzra]


"..Tuhan tak kan bagi ujian kepada Umatnya klw Dia tau kita tak mampu tempuhnya... be strong Girl..." [Cik 301]



*********************************************






broken note : Enough said...........

And The End Could'nt Be That Way....

******************************

Dear My Blog..,

Senang ke nak menjaga hati orang lain? Sedangkan hati sendiri pun tak terjaga..? Senang ke nak berperang dengan perasaan..? Senang ke nak handle sesuatu yang seolah telah menjadi darah daging tapi berakhir dengan satu kenyataan yang memang amat perit,pahit dan sangat tajam menusuk hati ni..? Sesungguhnya,ujian ini terlalu berat. Tabah kah aku..?? Hmm..

And the rest was a history... Damn to be my history,at the end....

******************************

Nota ini broken : broken heart....

"..thanks for the pain given.."

****************

he was sory for the troublesome made yesterday.i was so in pain,i was so down.oh crap!i must looks like a total pathetic now!yes,i admit it.because he and sorry definitely not a synonym to be expected of.



shoud the applologize accepted?
or,the appologize should'nt be accepted.



why bother, i just let it be.

and the rest was a history..









me : don't tell me to chase all these away,because i just can't..i just can't....=(